Crime of the Week
Diana Dors
Natural Selection At Work
Height of embarrassment?
No Yawning now.....
Chessington World Of Adventure
Female Employees
Scrotum Self-Repair
58 Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)
Great Headlines of Our Time
A Huddersfield man jailed for a year after he admitted having sex with a dog by the roadside in Bradford has claimed he was seduced. Police were called after a couple spotted the 45-year old man with a Staffordshire bull terrier called Badger. He told police "I can't help it if it took a liking to me. He pulled my trousers down."
(As reported in the Sunday Times News Section, 6 December 1998)
'... There may be people in Swindon who recall the day that Diana Dors, a local girl made (almost) good, was invited back to open some new civic amenity. The mayor, by all accounts, was briefed thoroughly about how to receive the visiting star.
The most important thing he had to remember was that Diana was known there by her real name: Diana -- carefully now -- Fluck. Right, said Mr. Mayor, got that. Fluck.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he boomed, up on the platform beside the honoured guest. "I'm proud to be here today with one who needs no introduction.
"A warm welcome, please, for someone you all remember as -- and I've been told to be very careful about this, ladies and gentlemen -- Miss Diana Clunt."'
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record store, waving their revolvers in the air. One yelled "NOBODY MOVES!!"
His partner moved, so ... he shot him.
"I [was] a little nervous," he was quoted as saying.
"It was the hot bath that did it," pensioner Ron Tupper told a local reporter, as members of the Eastbourne Fire Brigade struggled to free him. "Hot water's always made my apricots sag, and that's where the problem started."
Tupper, a resident of Old Orchard Road, Eastbourne, explained what had happened to him that morning. "I'd just got out of the bath, and thought I'd sun myself on the patio before I got dressed. I sat down on a chair with the Daily Express, but my balls sack was loose because of the hot water, and my tessies slipped between the slats of the seat. I didn't pay much heed at first but, when I tried to stand, the skin had tightened up again, and I couldn't get them out.
"Realising I was stuck, I scuttled back into the house on the chair, and phoned the fire brigade. They were here for over an hour. They tried greasing me and all sorts, but it was no good. So they hacked the chair to pieces, which is a pity because it's one of a set I bought from Timothy Whites, and you can't get them anymore. It's cold showers for me from now on."
(Eastbourne Herald 7/5/94 - reprinted in Private Eye)
Three clinical psychiatrists had a paper in the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry entitled "Unusual Side Effects of Clomipramine Associated with Yawning," describing 4 patients who, while taking the the anti-depressant drug Clomipramine (brand name Anafranil) reported the unusual side effect of spontaneous orgasm every time they yawned.
The first case of this was a female patient who had been depressed for 3 months, but under treatment "Complete symptom remission occurred within 10 days". She then asked how long she would be allowed to go on using the drug, since she had observed that every time she yawned she had an orgasm, and she was able to experience orgasm by deliberate yawning.
Apparently it can work for guys too. One male patient said that while he found the repeated climaxes "awkward and embarrassing", he elected to continue the medication because of the therapeutic benefit he obtained. The awkwardness and embarrassment were overcome by continuously wearing a condom."
Stolen from Private Eye...
Here at Chessington you can see some of the most dangerous paedophiles in the world, in their natural habitat, where the authories set them free to roam.
A great day out for you, but not your family!
The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Mass Transportation. It was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II.
Eleven Tips on getting more efficiency out of women employees:
There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:
From the "Unusual Case" column of _Aspects of Human Sexuality_, July 1991, by William A Morton, Jr, MD. Reprinted without permission.
One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's problems." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile [feverish], and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.
After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul- smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.
Amid the matted hair, edematous [swollen] skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard.
We X-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad- spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning. The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement [removal of dead skin] of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed [ripped or torn out] and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated [tied off] properly, though not much of a hematoma [pocket of blood] was present. Through-and- through Penrose drains [?] were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed.
Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me. An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.
I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.
April 1996: The Pink Paper has an article which reports:
"Sexual health experts in the States are advocating the use of the female condom between gay men.
The director of the San Francisco AIDS Office, Mitch Katz, has authorised for [sic] the so-called Femidoms to be used in the city's sexual health clinics for gay men who have anal sex."
The headline:
"New openings for female condoms."