Back in 1995 a woman called Nancy started posting very strange messages in the
alt.alien.visitors newsgroup. She claimed to have messages directly from a
group of aliens from the Zeta Reticuli star system. These aliens are commonly
known as the 'greys', or as she called them, the 'zetas'.
She has her own website nowadays at ZetaTalk.
Most people just thought she was
nuts.
One individual started posting a set
of messages parodying her style. These messages were alleged to come from a
race of telepathic Zen anarchist Surfing aliens called the 'kappas'.
I am posting those I have here.
#! rnews 2975
Article: 65029 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (S Rees)
Subject: KappaTalk (c) Church of New Badger SARL
Message-ID: <1995Jul25.141753.26755@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Date: Tue, 25 Jul 1995 15:17:52 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 54
Following the breakdown of talks with the Zetas the Church
of the New Badger SARL has signed an agreement with a previously
uncontacted spiritual intergalactic race of boy scouts called
the Kappas. Actually they contacted us when they heard about
the rich pickings to be made on earth as a result of (1) lots of
gullible idiots and (2) copyright laws, unheard of in the rest of
the galaxy. They have therefore SOLD us the rights to all their
wisdom in exchange for several tons of asphalt (a rare delicacy
out there) and a lifetime's subscription to MAD magazine.
They may not be quite as wise as the Zetas but they're cheaper
and not so tight-arsed, if you'll excuse the phrase.
Anyway, I can feel their first message coming through now..
(Kappa message to People of Earth follows)
...hey Novon... NOVON !.. How do you work this thing ? the
red button ? Oh I've got it....Hello the People Of Earth.
We have many things to tell you and many lessons to give. As
you can see we are very, very wise and can talk in Capitals.
Actaully you've caught us at a pretty bad time because most
of us are on the beach right now...
Errmmmm anyway, the first lesson... Well I guess your planet
is pretty screwed up (ours is!) and you want to know what
to do about it. The trick is ... not to worry ! We just
ignore it and we have a lot more beach than we used to
although the surf isn't so good. I'm going to hand over to
my good friend Radon now who's says he's thought of something
to tell you
(the red button .. that one .. yeah)
Hi...hi?.. Oh, hi. Look I've heard you're all a bit worried
about dolphins. Well we picked a few up last week, and the
best thing to do with them is to barbecue *very* slowly,
otherwise they get a bit oily, That should sort out your
dolphin problem in no time... Back to Persil now...
Hello again. Some of the lads wanted to say hi but we're
running a bit short on time. Thanks to the dudes at the
Church of the New Badger for coming up with this idea - nobody's
been paid for a living on Kappa for eons now. We'll be back with
more wisdom some time. Hang cool.
(Kappa message to People of Earth ends)
Well that will do for now. All the wisdom contained in this
posting (c) The Church of the New Badger SARL. No part of
this posting may be reprinted, repeated, or stored in any
form, whether printed, computer, audio, video, potato-print
or etcha-sketch without the permission of the High Wizard.
Respectfully yours,
Le Comte de St Germain.
#! rnews 1289
Article: 66467 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (S Rees)
Subject: KappaTalk (c) Society of Kappa
Message-ID: <1995Aug1.093505.12919@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Date: Tue, 1 Aug 1995 10:35:05 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 22
The Society of Kappa is a collective of people who are in direct
mind contact with the People of Kappa Refriguli. There is no
formal membership procedure - you will be told when you have
joined.
Membership brings the following benefits:
(1) Automatic associate membership of the Junior League of the
Knights Templar.
(2) Use of the Society of Kappa Club on Pall Mall, London.
(3) Discount barbecue briquettes.
(4) Hand-bound dolphin-skin book containing synopses of the known
Kappa wisdom to date.
(5) Instructions on how to build a special hat to protect from
Zeta mind rays using only tin foil and wire coat hangers.
(6) Secret handshake diagrams and exercises.
The Society of Kappa is a non-profit organisation. All surplus
cash goes directly to our parent, The Church of the New Badger
SARL (Holdings).
Le Comte de St Germain
Hon. Sec.
#! rnews 3194
Article: 66493 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (S Rees)
Subject: KappaTalk (c) Secrets off the Universe
Originator: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Message-ID: <1995Aug1.123925.17205@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger SARL (Psyops.)
Date: Tue, 1 Aug 1995 13:39:24 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 63
The Kappas are getting into the swing of theis channelling
thing now and have some vital information to impart. I
shall summon them up on the celestial megaphone...
(Kappa message to People of Earth follows)
Hello... Hi ? Hi this is Persil again. After chatting
to you lot last time we had a natter on the beach to try
and decide what sort of stuff you need to know, about the
universe and things.
Well most of it is really dull, and we don't actually understand
it too well ourselves, so we thought we'd stick to the
important bits. Mainly, the universe is run by an ancient
conspiracy of secret societies. Ariel here has the full
story..
Me ? Oh yeah. Hi. Well, there's this planet called Zeta
Reticuli (that's really it's name, just some sort of
freaky coincidence I guess), and the dudes there had a
base over at your place, called Atalanta I think, or
Atalante. Anyway they used this place as a sort of
broadcasting station, like intergalactic pirate radio ?
and used it to control people's minds and stuff. It didn't
work on us though...
Anyway they had a bust-up, and a group of them called the
Mayans led by a guy called Quetzlcoatl set up an
alternative base on another continent. And this really
screwed up the psi waves, and caused some pretty major wars
out here. Then when your Columbus guy discovered the
Mayans he took all their secrets and gave them to the Templars,
who still run the universe today from their base under Glastonbury
Tor.
So I guess you're all wondering how Columbus got the secrets?
Well this bit's really cool - the Mayans were terrapins !
You know what Zetas look like - terrapins without a shell.
You on earth are still breeding them, right in your midst.
So our message to the people of earth is KILL THE TERRAPINS!
You'll be doing the whole universe a big favour.
Hi this is Persil again. So now you know the secret of
the universe. People who say they are speaking to the
Zetas are affected by mind rays emanating from their
terrapin tank. The best way to fight back is to send
plenty of money to the dudes at the Church of the New
Badger, 'cos they know how to handle this.
OK - this is Persil, Ariel, Surf and Novon signing out.
(Kappa message to People of Earth Ends)
Well there you have it. A secret so profound this message
will probably never reach you. You too can help, simply
think the sum you would like to donate and the Church of
the New Badger SARL will psychically debit it from your
account. No personal cheques please.
Yours in the Great Badger
Le Comte de St Germain
#! rnews 2243
Article: 67649 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (S Rees)
Subject: KappaTalk (c) Nazi Space Buccaneers
Message-ID: <1995Aug10.114131.433@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Psyops.)
Date: Thu, 10 Aug 1995 12:41:31 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 54
The Kappas wish to talk with you. All of you..
(Kappan message to People of Earth Follows)
hello .... hello .. is this thing switched..Hi !
Hello people of earth. Yes, hi! Right...
OK you had a chat with Dreft, bit of an old fart but
then the Elders are like that. The surf was always
bigger when they were younger... Anyway. Yeah.
OK my name is Dettol. The others said it was my turn
to talk with you and they've all gone to the beach,
'cept for Draino the sound engineer - say `hi' Draino -
Hi !
and so I've got to tell you *why* there is suddenly so
much interest in The Planet Earth out here.
And believe me, we are *way* out here..
Apparently about 50 of your earth years ago you had a
war ? And the bad guys in this war were the Nazis, right ?
What you don't know is that a whole gang of them escaped
from earth in their space-ships, and so the galaxy has
been plagued with Octogenarian Nazi Space Pirates ever
since.
It's a real pain, lifeforms, and its your fault. We're
really peaceful up here, just smoke asphalt and eat dolphin,
and these dudes come along and try to invade us ? And they're
all wearing leather ?
Please come and sort these guys out for us. They keep
talking about `Liebenschraum', and they've renamed a
fairly major continent `Sudetenland'. We're the third
system on the left just past Zeta Reticuli.
(Kappan message to People of Earth ends)
If you would like to help the Church of the New Badger
raise a space fleet to rescue the Kappans, please
send cheques payable to Committee for Additional Space
Help (CASH) to
Save the Kappans
The Quetzlcoatl Trust
The Church of the New Badger (Holdings) SARL
12, Rue Prince Albert,
Luxembourg
Le Comte de St Germain
#! rnews 2462
Article: 68774 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@gps.leeds.ac.uk (S J Rees)
Subject: Comet Hale-Bopp - The Kappas Explain
Message-ID: <1995Aug15.140156.27242@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: gps0.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Psyops.)
Date: Tue, 15 Aug 1995 15:01:55 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 59
The Kappas have been following the intense debate of the
origin of the comet Hale-Bopp on this newsgroup (they say
that out of all the masses of humanity only in this newsgroup
can they find intelligent discussion). They have a message
for us...
(Kappan message to People of Earth follows)
Errrrrrr Hi. Hi People of Earth, indeed, hello.
I have not spoken with you before. I am the Chief
of the Council of Kappa, and my name is Kevin. I have
a message of great importance for you all.
Watching as we have your earthly `newsgroup', through
our friends at the Church of the New Badger, we have
observed your consternation at the arrivel of Comet
Hale-Bopp. As out tight-arsed neighbours, the Zetas,
have observed, it is not a normal comet. In fact it
is not a comet at all. In fact, it is a barbecue, as
they well know.
This is an apology to you, People of Earth. You know
how parties sometimes get out of hand, one thing leads
to another, barbecues get launched inoto intergalactic
space etc...
I can only assure you that we were not aiming for you.
We were aiming at the zetans, who had just called out
the Galactic Patrol because of the `noise'. (Would *you*
invite the hippy commune from hell to your party ?)
You may of course keep the barbecue. But we would
like the tongs back.
May I take this opportunity to thank those of you
who have contributed to the Church of the New
Badger's `Save the Kappans' campaign. Every penny
helps, and we hope to have our first spaceship
deployed against the Octogenarian Space Nazis
any day now.
Yours in the Great Badger
Kevin
(Kappan message to People of Earth ends)
Please help the Church of the New Badger save
the Kappans from the Octogenarian Space Nazis.
Send cheques payable to CASH (Committee
for Additional Space Help) to
Save the Kappans
The Quetzlcoatl Trust
Church of the New Badger (Holdings)
12 Rue Prince Albert
Luxembourg
Le Comte de St Germain
#! rnews 1933
Article: 69439 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: Octogenarian Space Nazi Update
Message-ID: <1995Aug18.140244.27591@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Psyops.)
Date: Fri, 18 Aug 1995 15:02:44 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 36
Acolytes and heretics alike will be aware of the Church of
the New Badger's fund raising campaign on behalf of the
Occupants of the planet Kappa Refriguli. The Kappans
are currently under attack from hordes of Octogenarian
Space Nazis who escaped from this planet in their flying
saucers shortly after the fall of the 3rd Reich. As the
Kappans' funds have been exhausted by their copyright
battles with the Zetans they desperately need cash to
buy space-ships and new surf-boards.
Why should we protect the Kappans ? They are the only
alien race of Zen anarchist surfers currently channelled
on this planet and have a lot to offer us. Some of their
recipes for barbecued dolphin will be published
shortly by the Church of the New Badger (Publishing).
So far we have raised nearly 300,000 ECU, and hope to have
our first space cruiser in operation by the end of
the year, well before the spring offensive. We are
unfortunately prevented from showing you any hard
evidence of the existence of this craft because of
legal considerations, but it proudly flys the flag of
the Church of the New Badger (Badger rampant on azure
with bar sinister).
We still need your help - the more money the better.
Please send cheques payable to CASH (Committee for
Additional Space Help) to
Save the Kappans
The Quetzlcoatl Trust
The Church of the New Badger (Holdings)
12 Rue Prince Albert
Luxembourg
Le Comte de St Germain
#! rnews 2735
Article: 69565 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: Quetzlcoatl, The Mayan Druids, Freemasonry and the Celtic Mysteries
Message-ID: <1995Aug18.142905.6976@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Chruch of the New Badger (Mexico) Ltd
Date: Fri, 18 Aug 1995 15:29:04 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 49
The Occupants of Kappa have very generously given their time to
explaining the ancient history of man to us here at the Church of
the New badger. rather than have them go through it all again,
here is a synopsis.
In their previous posts the Kappans have explained how the
ancient orders of druids established by the Atalanteans in Wales
and Central America became corrupted by the pernicious
influence of the evil Zetan Quetzlcoatl. Roman texts describe
how ceremonies including human sacrifice became common
throughout northern europe, and the remarkable similarity
between these ceremonies and those performed by the
Mayans is now becoming known (although, strangely, not published).
Feeling that they should atone for the damage inflicted
by their neighbours, the Kappans decided to send a messenger
of love and hope to our planet.
Unfortunately he got lost on the way and was found only last year
in an Irish pub on Alpha Centauri. Still, it was a nice
thought.
And so the first galactic survey vessel to approach our planet
dismissed it as only inhabited by unintelligent savages. To
this day most space maps do not show our system, or show it
as uninhabited.
The surviving Druidic cult, the masons, no longer perform
human sacrifice (unless there's a really good reason), but
they maintain the ancient links with the Zetans. This is
their great secret; the Freemasons are in constant and covert
communication with the Zetans, as the Zetans plan to overrun
this planet knowing that few others even know of its existence.
When they do they will control us with the assistance of the
Masonic Orders already in place in positions of power
throughout the world.
Please do not let this happen. The Church of the New Badger
(Mexico) is fighting to expose the Zetan links of the
Masons. We need money to advertise our cause. Please send
cheques payable to CASH (Committee for Additional Space
Help) to
Expose the Masons!
The Church of the New Badger (Mexico) Ltd
666 Avenida Quetzlcoatl
Mexico City
Mexico
Le Comte de St Germain
#! rnews 4558
Article: 70178 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: KappaTalk (tm) Question and Answer
Message-ID: <1995Aug21.095128.10581@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Psyops.)
Date: Mon, 21 Aug 1995 10:51:28 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 101
Many people have been curious about the nature of the people
of Kappa Refriguli, currently under contract to the Church
of the New Badger. The Kappas have been picking up vibrations
from these question and would like to answer.
Q. What is your relationship with the Zetas, and have you ever
encountered anyone called `Nancy' ?
A. Yeah I'll take this. This is Novon. Errrmm we don't like
the Zetas very much. Besides being fundamentally unhip they
are very boring conversationalists. Nancy is pretty screwed
up, with her divorce and the problems she had at school, and
the Zetas take advantage of people like that. Its very sad;
we only deal with professionals.
Q. Is faster than light travel possible ?
A. Dreft here. Yes, we know the secret of faster-than-light
travel, but we have never been able to make a large enough rubber
band.
Q. Who is your leader?
A. Ultimately all decisions are reduced to two alternatives by
a process we call apathy. We then have a complex method for
deciding between the alternatives by rapidly spinning a disc
of metal and basing the outcome on which side the disc lands.
Q How reliable is `chanelling' ?
A. We wouldn't know, we use cellular 'phones.
Q. What were the objects seen over Mexico City ?
A. Dreft again. This is a vey important question. We have
been trying to educate you about your past, and the effect
of the evil Zetan Quetzlcoatl on the Mayans. The space-ships
you see over Mexico City are from Sirius, and they are
making a TV documentary about the Mayans. Don't lend them
any money.
Q. Do you know the meaning of life ?
A. No, but we don't let it bother us. You get very obsessed
on earth with ideas that you are all individually very important,
and some of the sadder more pathetic ones even have conversations
with imaginary aliens to compensate for the depressing emptiness
of their lives. The answer is not to let it bother you, relax
and have fun. As the entity you know as Le Comte de St Germain
is fond of saying to us, `Soon come'. (Incidentally
SG, we're still waiting for that cheque).
A lot of us think that it's because you only have 2 sexes (we
have seven), but it can't just be frustration. Everything in
your culture teaches you that you must be important, you cannot
just be a rather dull little planet that nobody ever bothers
to visit. You are, and if it wasn't for your copyright laws
we wouldn't even bother 'phoning.
(Kappan Q & A session ends)
Please note that all the above is (c) The Church of the New
Badger SARL (Psyops.). Anbody else even attempting to channel
a race of telepathic Zen anarchist Surfing aliens will be sued.
Le Comte de St Germain
in a strangely serious mood.
******************************************************************
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#! rnews 2476
Article: 69750 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.research,alt.alien.visitors,alt.paranet.ufo
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: Church of New Badger Buys Moon Buildings ! [Reuter]
Message-ID: <1995Aug21.134111.18977@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Psyops.)
Date: Mon, 21 Aug 1995 14:41:10 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 40
I am pleased to be able to announce that the Church of The New Badger SARL has
recently bought some disused moon buildings from their current owners, the Sony
Corporation. These buildings had originally been constructed for use as an
employee rest centre and included the largest water-slide yet built in this
solar system, recent sightings of which on earth have caused consternation.
The Church of the New Badger hopes to convert the buildings into a lunar theme
park ready for the imminent tourist invasion. Attractions will include:
Meet the Kappans ! Your chance to meet and surf with the cosmos' hippest
transdimensional telepathic Zen surfing aliens, in the specially modified
water slide.
Hoagland Spotting ! Using a child's model telescope we point you in the
general direction of Dr Hoagland and invite you to draw sketches of him
in crayon.
Relax in the Zetan Bar ! (Please note: for the good of others please refrain
from drinking, smoking, laughing and playing loud music. Customers are only
allowed to buy drinks (non-alcoholic) for others. Anal probes will be
confiscated at the door.)
Guided tours of the DarkSide (tm) Pyramids ! We show you around the soon-to-be-
discovered pyramids on the dark side of the moon, including the Throne
Room of the Pharaoh Khufu.
Travel Faster then the Speed of Light ! (Subject to availability of rubber
bands).
If you would like to book for two weeks at The Church of the New Badger's
LunarLand (tm) please send 3000 UKP in *cash* (there are currently no
banking facilities on the moon) to
The Church of the New Badger (Travel Lodge) Ltd
19, Popacapetl Road,
Droitwich,
W. Midlands.
Le Comte de St Germain (or am I ?)
#! rnews 3414
Article: 69965 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: KappaTalk (c) Uther Pendragon and the Spaceports
Message-ID: <1995Aug22.094737.14898@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Psyops.)
Date: Tue, 22 Aug 1995 10:47:37 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 63
The Kappas have discussed in length the story of the domination
of the Mayas by the evil Zetas. Today they wish to tell us about
earlier contacts with people from the stars, and take us back to the
days when earth was an accepted memebr of the interstellar
community...
(Kappan history lesson begins)
Hi..Hi ? Hello. Hi. Errrmmm this is Lenor. We've had a few
Sirian beers here but I think I'm up to telling you about your
dark past, barely remembered.
I think Dreft told how the Isle of Atalante - now known as Rockall -
came to be the dominant culture on earth, and how its druidic
settlements in Wales and Mexico became corrupted by the zetan
Quetzlcoatl. But I don't think he explained how Atalante came
to be so powerful, or how those dudes knew so much.
I think it all started with some guy called Uther Pendragon.
He was a king of a little kingdom in northern europe. But this
guy had dreams - he'd started his own catering company and
wanted to expand. The first stage was to conquer all the
surrounding countries, which he did pretty quick. The next
and most ambitious stage was to turn his country into one
of the galaxy's most prestigous duty-free spaceports.
He built two spaceports; one in what is now called `Wiltshire',
and the other in the mountains of northern `Scotland' (the
gap was because of the stringent galactic space landing
safety requirements of the time). Soon news of the low
prices avaliable became known throughout the galaxy, and
seedy bars and brothels sprung up around the ports to serve
the needs of the space-dogs of the galactic fringe.
Sadly, there was a rebellion. A group of his people,
inspired by right-wing TV evangelists, rose up and
slaughtered Uther Pendragon and his cohorts of short-order
chefs. They imposed a strict puritanical regime, hoping
to attract the family end of the market, but so far from
the normal space-routes the ports withered and died.
A small number of Uther's followers, led by his son Arthur,
escaped to set up casinos on the isle of Atalante, and while
the rest of the planet became more and more backward Atalante was
still able to attract passing trade.
Today the remmnants of the spaceports can be found at
Stonehenge and Caer Leon. For hundreds of years archeologists
have wondered why the construction of these two sites was so completely different
from that of other stone age citadels. Now the story has been
told, dudes.
(Kappan history lesson ends)
If you are planning to visit the UK to see Caer Leon and
Stonehenge, why not combine it with a Church of the New Badger
Meditation Weekend ? Held in the Post House Hotel just outside
Leeds, these cheap weekends (1500 UKP) will help you
develop your telepathic skills and reach out to the Kappas.
Le Comte de St Germain
#! rnews 2179
Article: 70366 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: KappaTalk (c) Conspiracy Summary
Message-ID: <1995Aug23.112633.15966@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Psyops.)
Date: Wed, 23 Aug 1995 12:26:33 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 54
The Kappas have noticed how confused many of us seem to be
by the levels of conspiracy organised against us, the people
of planet earth.
To help me explain everything they have sent me a chart
by special messenger (whose escape path was seen over Iowa
City recently). Here is a summary:
NASA is conspiring against the world's press to hide all
their knowledge of alien contact. Helping them in this
is
The UN, which has long had clandestine contacts with aliens.
They, of course, are conspired against by
The CIA, and their cohorts, the Rockefellers. The CIA is
also conspiring against
The US Government, which is actually a group of Rosicrucians,
who are conspiring against
The German Illuminati, who control the worlds press (and are
therefore being conspired against by NASA). The German
Illuminati are dominated by members of
The Third Reich, from their base on the moon. Although
they work with NASA, the Third Reich is working to
destroy
The Crowned Heads of Europe, who are all interelated and
without exception members of
The Knights Templar, who are affiliated to the NSA. The NSA
have been working with
The Greys for some time now. Hot on the heels of The Greys are
The Men in Black. The Men in Black are also working to
destroy
The Chrysler Corporation, whose many attempts at world
domination have always been thwarted by
The Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank, who bankroll NASA and
the NSA. At the head of the Hong Kong and Shanghai
Bank are a shadowy group who we can now reveal to
be the ascended masters of
Agarttha, seat of the rulers of the world.
Dolphin sandwich anyone ?
Le Comte de St Germain
#! rnews 1771
Article: 70777 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: Kappas help find King Arthur !!
Message-ID: <1995Aug24.070946.17768@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Rockall) Ltd
Date: Thu, 24 Aug 1995 08:09:46 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 23
As has been told before by the Kappas, the den of iniquity that became
the Isle of Atlantis was destroyed by the Galactic Council after the
zeta complained about the lack of planning permission, and King Arthur
was placed in suspended animation. The Kappas intimated that King
Arthur's sentence was nearly finished.
I am pleased to be able to report that we have found King Arthur !
He has been living in a seaman's mission in Liverpool and distributing
telephone directories for a living, but after we paid for him to
stay in a five-star hotel his memories of being King of Ancient Atlantis
have begun to return. He still has a distinctive Atlantean accent
and can speak the language, which sounds similar to Welsh (no surprise
there - readers will be familiar with the Atlantean settlements on the
North Welsh coast). He also has a powerful aversion to water - perhaps
a symptom of the unfortunate end of Atlantis? - and an almost inhuman
ability to drink methyl alcohol.
The Church of the New Badger now plans to restore The Ancient Kingdom
of Atlantis to its rightful position as master of the North Atlantic.
Le Comte de St Germain
#! rnews 2937
Article: 70974 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: KappaTalk (c) - A message from our sponsors...
Message-ID: <1995Aug25.081108.3870@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: The Church of the New Badger (Rockall) Ltd
Date: Fri, 25 Aug 1995 09:11:07 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 56
Over the last few weeks I've posted a huge amount of history
describing events as related to me by the Kappas. Certain
people have suggested to me that it is all the product of an
over-active imagination, and that Le Comte de St Germain was
really a 19th century fictional character.
So now I'm going to list some *facts* below. Some are verifiable,
some not, some are subject to debate between the relevant
authorities; but all are definitely not the products of
*my* imagination.
(1) Quetzlcoatl and Popacapetl really had the attributes I've
given them. They reportedly fell from the sky, were not human etc.
(2) The isle of Rockall really does mark the peak of a
submerged landmass in the north Atlantic.
(3) Stonehenge and Caer Leon are the only two sites in the
prehistoric world with their particular structure. Specifically
the order of the trenches and ramparts is reversed from the usual.
(4) I am told there really is a Church of the Badger in Arizona.
(5) A giant temple has recently been opened in Neasden, north
London, but it is of the Hindu rather than Badger variety (this
came as a shock to me - I opened the paper one morning and there
it was).
(6) Psychotronic devices really are used to measure and control
brainwave activity.
(7) Uther Pendragon really was the father of Arthur in legend.
In fact the two names are the same - Arthur is an anglicised
rendition of Uther, meaning `bear' (not badger), and Pendragon
is a later Welsh/Gaelic addition.
(8) Atlantis is in fact a Celtic myth. The pre-Doric Greeks
(from whom the story descended to Plato) were a Celtic people
who occupied Greece during their westward migration about
2000BC. The celtic word means `that which was lost', `is gone'
or `was taken away'. Avalon probably comes from the same
root, although it sounds like a bit of Victorian whimsy
to me, like the Mabinogion.
(9) ...and lots more. I usually draw on real legend and then
improve it with the help of the Kappas
And myself ? For the conspiracy nuts: I do not have anything
to do with the University of Leeds and never have, I am a
signatory of the official secrets act (which is in itself a secret -
so now I'm in trouble); I have worked
in a military aerospace research facility (although I do not
at present - can't commute from Rockall).
Yours in the Great Psychotron
Le Comte de St Germain (or am I ..?)
#! rnews 1820
Article: 72512 of alt.alien.visitors
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
From: men5sr@sun.leeds.ac.uk (Le Comte de St Germain)
Subject: KappaTalk (c) Roswell Film Explained
Message-ID: <1995Aug30.113334.3666@leeds.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mensun10.leeds.ac.uk
Organization: Church of the New Badger (Rockall) Ltd
Date: Wed, 30 Aug 1995 12:33:34 +0100 (BST)
Lines: 34
The Kappas were fortunately able to watch the Roswell documentary
the other night, as all their cable channels are owned by Rupert Murdoch
so apart from repeats of 1960s American soap operas there's bugger all
else on.
They can understand our concerns and would like to comment...
(Kappan explanation to People of Earth follows..)
Errrr Hi this is Ariston of Kappa Refriguli. We all watched that
TV prog the other night and it fraked us all out because - well
we knew the guy they were cutting up.
This dude's name was Wayne, and he was a Zetan who's ship crashed
on earth when the spring ran down or something. We were all glad
to see the back of him, but no-one knew for sure what had
happenned until now. Becasue that guy was the biggest bastard in
the know galaxy.
That guy was the traffic warden at Zeta Reticuli, and they take
traffic enforcement (like evrything else) very seriously. There
were all the usual rumours, and the Zetans (as usual) blamed
us for sabotaging his ship, but he was never seen again after
the crash.
We didn't like the bit about there being survivors.
Your government knows all this of course. There are even people
on this very newsgroup who know the truth, but they are too
subtle for you ever to guess who they are.
(Kappan message ends)
KappaTalk (c) Church of New Badger SARL