Bullshit Bingo Card GeneratorEnterprises need to start ethinkingCerner Corp: MANAGEMENT DIRECTIVE: Week #10_01: Fix it or changes will be madePSInet - What is your major problem?
Bullshit Bingo Card Generator
Enterprises need to start ethinking
Cerner Corp: MANAGEMENT DIRECTIVE: Week #10_01: Fix it or changes will be made
PSInet - What is your major problem?
Here's a memo to employees at Cerner Corp. in Kansas City. It's one of those companies that's supposed to be one of the "top 100" places to work in America.
The e-mail message was leaked and posted on Yahoo. Its belligerent tone surprised thousands of readers, including analysts and investors. In the stock market, the valuation of the company, which was $1.5 billion on March 20, plummeted 22 percent in three days.
Now, Neal L. Patterson, the 51-year-old chief executive, a man variously described by people who know him as "arrogant," "candid" and "passionate," says he wishes he had never hit the send button.
-----Original Message-----
From: Patterson,Neal
To: DL_ALL_MANAGERS;
Subject:ANAGEMENT DIRECTIVE: Week #10_01: Fix it or changes will be made
Importance: High
To the KC_based managers:
I have gone over the top. I have been making this point for over one year.
We are getting less than 40 hours of work from a large number of our KC-based EMPLOYEES. The parking lot is sparsely used at 8AM; likewise at 5PM. As managers -- you either do not know what your EMPLOYEES are doing; or YOU do not CARE. You have created expectations on the work effort which allowed this to happen inside Cerner, creating a very unhealthy environment. In either case, you have a problem and you will fix it or I will replace you.
NEVER in my career have I allowed a team which worked for me to think they had a 40 hour job. I have allowed YOU to create a culture which is permitting this. NO LONGER.
At the end of next week, I am plan to implement the following:
I think this parental type action SUCKS. However, what you are doing, as managers, with this company makes me SICK. It makes sick to have to write this directive.
I know I am painting with a broad brush and the majority of the KC based associates are hard working, committed to Cerner success and committed to transforming health care. I know the parking lot is not a great measurement for 'effort'. I know that 'results' is what counts, not 'effort'. But I am through with the debate.
We have a big vision. It will require a big effort. Too many in KC are not making the effort.
I want to hear from you. If you think I am wrong with any of this, please state your case. If you have some ideas on how to fix this problem, let me hear those. I am very curious how you think we got here. If you know team members who are the problem, let me know. Please include (copy) Kynda in all of your replies.
I STRONGLY suggest that you call some 7AM, 6PM and Saturday AM team meetings with the EMPLOYEES who work directly for you. Discuss this serious issue with your team. I suggest that you call your first meeting -- tonight. Something is going to change.
I am giving you two weeks to fix this. My measurement will be the parking lot: it should be substantially full at 7:30 AM and 6:30 PM. The pizza man should show up at 7:30 PM to feed the starving teams working late. The lot should be half full on Saturday mornings. We have a lot of work to do. If you do not have enough to keep your teams busy, let me know immediately.
Folks this is a management problem, not an EMPLOYEE problem. Congratulations, you are management. You have the responsibility for our EMPLOYEES. I will hold you accountable. You have allowed this to get to this state. You have two weeks. Tick, tock.
Neal .....
Chairman & Chief Executive Officer
Cerner Corporation www.cerner.com
2800 Rockcreek Parkway; Kansas City, Missouri 64117
"We Make Health Care Smarter"
PsiNet were a DotCom company who recently filled for Chapter 11. (Receivership in UK English)
From: <manager at PSInet - name withheld>
To: <employees>
Subject: What is your major problem?
Importance: High
LA TEAM,
It is 10pm on Thursday and I have not received one single sales report.
Jim sent you an email today telling you I will not be lenient on this
matter. He was correct! This is completely unacceptable behavior! This
will not be tolerated! Moving forward miss getting me your report once,
you will be written up! Miss it twice, you go on plan, Third strike, YOU
WILL BE FIRED!
If you think I am going to fuck around with you anymore you are wrong! I have to hire about 20 people, so 10 more does not make one fucking bit of difference to me. How could any of you do sales reports, when only 2 of you showed up for work today! I AM CHECKING THE SECURITY LOGS EVERYDAY!!!!! I told you this, ARE YOU STUPID? I have had this same conversation with all of you so many times, I can hardly keep track.
From now on everyone of you will be in the office no later then 8am EVERY FUCKING DAY! If you are five minutes late you will be written up, 3 strikes and you are out!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF????? I AM SO FUCKING PISSED THAT YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME MICRO MANAGE YOU! I have told you this time and time again, that I do not have the time to do this and you keep doing the exact same thing. If you can not police yourselves, then I will do it for you! Are you incapable of changing? If so, I will be excepting resignations all day tomorrow!
Almost everyone of you made well over $100,000 last year and apparently it is too much for me to ask that you show up to the office and do the job you are getting paid for! If you want to work your own hours, we can put you on 100% commission and then you can come and go as you please. Any takers? Of course not, because with your pathetic work effort you would starve! I realize that few people are making quota, but at least they show up for work and try to sell something! Why do I not have this problem in the OC office? Maybe I closed the wrong office? Apparently you do not take my threats seriously, so it is time to start making examples of people!
I have always told you I do not care what you do if you are at quota. I CARE WHERE YOU ARE NOW! This is NOT the way to start off the new year! Every Monday (starting 2/26) we will be having mandatory meetings at 7 am (don't be late). I will make it 1/2 hour earlier every Monday that some one is late. This will remain in effect until the work ethic changes (if it ever does). For those of you that work hard (it is only a few), you have your teammates to blame and maybe this will make you start policing each other (time for a blanket party).
I am going to hire the biggest ball buster I can find as a Sales Manager now for LA! I am only going to hire Account Managers for the people that show me that they are willing to work and that they want this job! You will either do the job we are paying you for or your replacements will! EVERYONE will be required to notify me of every appointment you have (company name, time and address) and if I do not have you scheduled for an appointment you will be required to be in the office. I am going to start randomly picking people to spend the day with. LIE TO ME JUST ONE TIME!!!! I Fucking dare you! It is time to either put your chips in the game or fold AND GET THE FUCK OUT!
I would like to point out a paragraph that is in all of your offer letters, "With or With Out Cause"!!!! Read it and understand it!
"Finally, it is important to understand that your employment with PSINet is not for any specific length of time. You, or the Company, may end the employment relationship at will, with or without cause, at any time.
It is also important to understand that the information contained in this letter does not constitute a contract of employment. It does, however, supersede any other written and/or verbal representations made by any representative of the Company relative to your employment with PSINet. In addition, this offer is contingent upon completion of satisfactory reference checks."