Agitated NunEthel and her wheelchair
Agitated Nun
Ethel and her wheelchair
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Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation. "Father!" she cried, "just wait until you hear this!"
The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, " Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited?" "Well, father" the nun began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!"
"A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest.
"But that's not what has me so excited, father" replied the nun, " it was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall!!"
"What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do?"
"Well, I hit the ceiling, father."
"How much did you win?"
Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheel chair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because she and her fellow residents are one sandwich short of a picnic, they all tolerate each other, some of the males actually join in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Mad Mike stepped out of his room with his arm outstretched.
"STOP!" he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him.
"OK" he said and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird William Popped out in front of her and shouted,
"STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him.
William nodded and said, "Carry on, maam."
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bonkers Brian stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable (for his age) erection in his hand.
"Oh, no!" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyser again!"